I took this photo the day before my friend passed away. Little did I know that this photo would be just more than a picture. I never thought I believed in signs, but now I truly believe that the universe sends you them when you least expect it. This was the only photo I took in the zoo that day. If you read the information on this link, you will understand what I am talking about.

This week I have been going through many pictures and remembering the times where I was happy. I have reflected on all of my friendships. Those that were made when I was a small child, those that were made in college, and those that have been made in my adult life. Some pictures are difficult to look at now that my friend has passed away, because they remind me of a time when we were all happy. I’m not sure that anything will be the same. Yesterday, when I looked at the pictures on my phone, I saw this peacock. I remembered from high school English lit that the peacock always held a special symbolic meaning. I decided to look it up and I read that the peacock is symbolic for immortality. I know that my friend has left this earth, but his spirit has not died. He is still in all of our hearts and he will be remembered forever.

As for renewal, I think it gives us all a chance to take a look at our own lives. I did not only lose one good friend, but instead I think I may have lost two. I cannot change the mistake that I made. I can apologize over and over again, but I cannot change the past. I realize now that I hurt my friend unintentionally. On the night that my friend died, it was difficult to hear my friend say that she didn’t want to live without her best friend. I saw my own life flashing before my eyes. I got scared and took the easy way out. I avoided the situation instead of facing it straight on. I came back to reality to face my fears and wanted to help my friend, but at that point, I realize it was too late. The damage was already done. I don’t know how to fix this, but I pray everyday for God to give me guidance.